okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
