im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
