Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
