oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
