I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
