i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
