I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
