its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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