he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
