there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
