her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
