just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When are your genitals available?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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