he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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