Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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