The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
