turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
