My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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