there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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