dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
