From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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