Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
