I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
