Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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