Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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