I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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