why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
