how can u be prego again
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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