it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
