im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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