dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
