Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So gin and wine won't be happening again
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
