Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
