I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
