it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think i got beer on your cat.
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