Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
