So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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