Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
