Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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