Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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