she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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