There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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