Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
