Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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