i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I need moral support for this bender
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
