Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
