so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
