Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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