Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
