He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
