Plan B is the new Plan A
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
