My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
