i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
